Why Don't You Just Not Eat?
So I was just telling a friend that I want to see a counsellor about my food addiction, and this is the conversation we had:
Laura Lee says: i'm not even going to tell you how much i weigh i was doing so good and then i just lost it.Then he changed the subject. I think it's uncomfortable for people who don't understand to talk about. It hurt, though, when he said, "I don't understand why people can't just tell themselves no." That's what a lot of people think about overweight people. I think a lot of people look at me, a lot of people read my blog, and when I say things like, "Oh, I went off plan," or whatever, people think, "Why can't she just not eat like that? Why can't she just say no?" But anyone who thinks like that doesn't really understand what it's like. Sometimes I even wonder if the people I talk to who claim to understand really understand. It just seems like my binges are so much worse than what other people consider a binge. I'll talk to someone on Weight Watchers who will say, "Oh my gosh I ate all 35 of my flex points today!" And so I'll go estimate the points in whatever I ate the last time I had a binge, and it will come up to around 80 points or so. I won't even say anything because it is absolutely mortifying. Admitting here that I've eaten that much before is mortifying. I'm sure I've probably even eaten more than that before. There have been days when I've eaten out twice in one day. In recent history. Not getting into it. But anyway, it really is a problem, and I obviously can't fix it myself. Think I'm going to call the counselling center today.
Laura Lee says: i want to go to counseling for food addiction
Laura Lee says: and compulsive/binge eating
john says: wont it just be easier to not do it?
Laura Lee says: what, not compulsively overeat?
john says: ya, just not do it? sorry i dont understand why people cant just tell themselves no
Laura Lee says: it's an addiction. if it were easy not to do it, it wouldn't be called a compulsion would it. a lot of people don't understand but food addiction/compulsive overeating/binge eating disorder are all medically recognized disorders
Laura Lee says: they are eating disorders that can be treated with therapy
Laura Lee says: they can be just as debilitating as anorexia or bulimia
Laura Lee says: sometime even more so
john says: i dont get any of the addictions.
Laura Lee says:
http://www.psychologistanywhereanytime.com/addiction_psychologist/psychologist_addiction_food.htm
john says: i know it is one but dont know why people just cant say no.
john says: i guess i have never been addicted to something
Laura Lee says: then you wouldn't understand
Laura Lee says: food is the only thing i have ever been addicted to
john says: have you tried to just not go eat?
Laura Lee says: of course i have
Laura Lee says: then i freak out and feel like i want to eat everything in sight
Laura Lee says: that's why i need counselling because i can't do it on my own
UPDATE 1/5/09 4:17 PM: So it turns out my health insurance doesn't have mental health benefits. I have an individual plan. We might try and get me added to Scott's group plan at work, but if open enrollment has already ended, we can't do that either. This sucks.
UPDATE 1/13/09 10:59 PM: Read this.
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8 comments:
Lemme know if that helps, my bmi is currently 38. My weight has been up and down since I turned 18...so maybe I need counseling as well.
John doesn't get it. That's not your fault.
Hey Laura - I totally get where you're coming from. I know you know you're not alone, but I just want to reiterate that.
I'm definitely a binge eater and I KNOW it's a medical compulsion issue. (I detailed my humiliating fall of the wagon today on my blog because I promised myself I would -but that's not the worst I've done by a long shot)
It usually has nothing to do with the yumminess of the food - I'm usually relieved when it's over but compelled to inhale it when it's there AND I'm in a bad emotional state.
I had a few stressful moments over Christmas and noticed myself eating more and faster even when I didn't want the food - definite emotional connection.
My best friend from middle school through college once said something to me like "Can't you just tell when you start gaining weight back and stop eating so much?". And...well...you know how that felt. I had nothing to say.
The best way I can think to explain or understand it now is to say that I don't congratulate myself on not being an alcoholic or a crack addict or whatever because I have never felt any desire to abuse those things. In the same way, someone who doesn't feel compulsions to binge shouldn't congratulate themselves on eating in moderation because though they might have been hungry or wanted an extra piece of cake sometime (like I might want a glass of wine with dinner one day), they don't have compulsions that park in their brains and refuse to budge.
I do understand his position. I have no desire to smoke, drink, or take drugs so it is difficult for me to feel what those compulsions must be like. I can try to compare them to my need to overeat, but I'm not sure they are similar. I can only guess.
I really feel for you here. No, he doesn't get it, but don't let his ignorance hurt you; he doesn't mean to be hurtful and only someone who deals with these issues really understands.
i've been in similar situations, it's so frustrating. but like everyone else has said, it's not your fault.
Tell him to stop breathing for an hour. "You know, just don't do it. How hard can it be?" Or have him read my "Elephant in the Room" post.
Glad you liked it. :) This regular post further defined the concept. Hopefully I'll get all these thoughts pulled together coherently into one place at some point.
http://www.backtothefridge.com/blog/psych-out/
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Hey everyone, thanks for commenting! I turned off moderation, but please play nice! Remember what your mother taught you, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!