In My Own Eyes

Today's Food:

• Bowl of Kashi Heart to Heart cereal with 2% milk, and a slice of whole grain toast with peach jam
• Oat & Peanut Butter Fiber One bar
• 2 rolls with cinnamon butter and a Caesar salad at Texas Roadhouse
• About 1/2 of pulled pork with ribs combo and fries at Texas Roadhouse
• Leftover pulled pork, ribs, fries, and roll with cinnamon butter from Texas Roadhouse
• Fat Tire (12 oz.)

Today was weigh in day, and I was down 0.4 lbs (-1.2 fat, +0.1 muscle, +0.5 water, +0.2 bone)! Don't ask me why my scale said I gained bone mass, whatever, because I still had a loss.

We went to Texas Roadhouse for my birthday (just had to get some ribs of my own after tasting them in Grand Junction) even though my birthday isn't until Monday. I definitely overate, but you know what? Sometimes that's ok, and since I do it so rarely these days it was so worth it.

I also went to Dion's today to have that interview, and I was wrong about it being a group thing, they just set it up to where if you want to work there, you show up on whatever day for the location you want at a certain time, you get in line, and then they interview you. I ended up being the last person, and I had to fill out a whole new application quickly because she didn't print her online applications and bring them with her. She only talked to me for about 5 minutes because she needed to leave to get to her Los Lunas location, but I think she asked me the same questions I heard her asking others, and she told me she'd see if she could get me on at any of the west side locations, so I think that's a good sign. Wish me luck!

I also wanted to mention something I thought about today... my mom was taking a picture of my dad and me for my birthday, and I sucked in my stomach, and then I did the same thing when my dad took a picture of me and my mom. Then for the next couple of minutes, I kept sucking it in, until I realized what I was doing. I told myself to be comfortable with the body I have because it's mine, and when I looked at the pictures, I refused to be critical of myself and say that I looked fat, because if I can't respect my own body, how can I expect anyone else to? I had to just tell myself it's the body I have, and I should be happy with what I have and not constantly want something else. It was quite a freeing thought I had, and I realized that even if anyone else thought I looked fat, who cares what they think, as long as I'm comfortable in my own skin.

I have no other news really, today was a fantastically lazy day!

Shattered Glass

Today's Food:

• Slice of whole grain bread with Nutella spread and half a banana sliced on top, the other half of the banana, and a glass of POM Wonderful
• Some Limón Corn Nuts in the car
• TJ's Black Bean & Jack Cheese burrito with organic white corn tortilla chips and salsa
• Simply Roasted Cherry Tomatoes with Spinach and Angel Hair, steamed broccoli with lemon juice, and a glass of Pinot grigio
• Another glass of Pinot grigio
• Some TJ's white cheddar Unburied Treasure

I tried my first glass of POM Wonderful with breakfast this morning! I really had no idea what to expect because I've never had pomegranate juice before, but it was a little more tart than I was expecting on my first sip. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I would like it the first couple of sips, but once I got used to the flavor, I actually did start to enjoy it. It's just slightly sweet, but I actually kind of like the slight tartness it has also. I give it a thumbs up! I also planned on trying PB2 mixed in some Greek yogurt, the way Jenna likes it, for breakfast tomorrow, but I realized all of my Greek yogurt is expired, so I'll have to go pick up my free Oikos before I can try it. Just more incentive to get the ball rolling, I guess!

We weren't planning on going grocery shopping this week since we had just gone on Tuesday, but we decided to just head on over to Trader Joe's anyway to see if anything looked good, since we were on that side of town anyway, feeding Sunny. Well. We ended up spending $50. We got: another reusable grocery bag; a bottle of Blue Fin Chardonnay; spinach; cherry tomatoes; frozen Italian style beef meatballs; spaghetti; another Tarte d'Alsace (expensive but so worth it); a frozen Pizza Margherita (didn't want to get a fresh one because I'm not sure when I'll eat it); organic corn chip dippers (like Fritos); white cheddar Unburied Treasure (like Pirate Booty); frozen chocolate souffles; a fresh uncured pepperoni pizza; 3 cheese pasta sauce; honey wheat hot dog buns; broccoli; Black Bean & Jack Cheese burrito; Hebrew National kosher beef hot dogs; and a Swiss milk chocolate bar (for Scott's middle of the night sweet cravings). So really we just got a bunch of crap, but we should definitely be set until next Friday's trip!

I had my first real disaster in the kitchen tonight... Ok, maybe my second. My first was when I dropped a vegetable chopper and went to catch it blade side up, and it sliced into my ring finger. Still have a scar from that one. Anyway, tonight I had roasted some tomatoes for my dinner, and the pasta was ready for them, so I had taken them out of the [425ºF] oven and was scraping them into the pasta, but the dish started to get really hot and started burning me through the pot holder, and I needed to set it down. So I went to set it down on the stove, but there wasn't enough room because there was a pizza pan on the stove already, so the baking dish slipped off and I couldn't grab it because of how hot it was, so it fell and shattered into a million little pieces. My poor baking dish, it was a wedding gift :( Then, I was trying to get my dinner together still because I was starving, and I ended up stepping on a piece of glass that went like half a centimeter into the bottom of my foot, and while I was pulling that out and trying not to bleed on the floor, I stepped on another one. So I hopped into the bathroom to pull that one out with tweezers, then I went back into the kitchen to get my dinner and pour myself a glass of wine. I didn't clean up until after I ate, but the kitchen is all clean now, and I inspected for pieces of glass that I might have missed, so everything should be ok now. It sucked, though. I used that dish all the time, and poor Tina got all freaked out and came running when she heard me yell, so I had to yell at her to stay in the living room. It was a mess. Next time, I'll have to make sure I have room to set something down before I take it out of the oven.

Also, tomorrow I have this sort of group interview thing or whatever at Dion's, to see if they want to do a real interview (at least I think that's why they do it) to see if I can get a job there. So, keep that situation in your prayers!

Little Moments

Scott made his Tarte d'Alsace at like 1:30 this morning, and I had a slice since I was a little hungry anyway. Yum!

Today's Food:

• Waffle sandwich with 2 Van's multigrain waffles, almond butter and organic grape jelly, a banana, and a glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice
• Small fries at McDonald's
• TJ's Roasted Vegetable wrap with babaganoush
• Some Roasted Gorgonzola crackers
• 3/4 TJ's Pizza Margherita with fresh basil from my basil plant :-D
• Fat Tire (12 oz.)

For breakfast today, I took a page from Jenna's book and made a waffle sandwich with almond butter and grape jelly. It was really good, and great to have something different for a change!

I noticed something today, when I snacked on some roasted Gorgonzola crackers while watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee (so wish I had gotten into competitive spelling when I was a kid!). When I went to put them away in the pantry, I realized that I didn't feel that guilty, out of control, stuffed feeling I used to always feel when I would snack on something that wasn't portioned out and strictly accounted for. I even ate them differently than I used to; I tasted each cracker, instead of just shovelling them into my mouth, chewing, swallowing, and shovelling the next handful in. Before I started getting away from the diet mentality, if I were to decide to have a snack that wasn't planned for, I would decide to "throw the day away," and stuff as much of the snack into my face, and then move on to whatever other food I could find in the house, until I was beyond stuffed. Now, if I feel like having a snack, I have one, and I enjoy it, and I don't feel guilty (usually). It feels so nice to be starting to eat like a "normal" person, a person who isn't obsessed with weight and dieting.

I had Trader Joe's Pizza Margherita for dinner tonight, and it was soooo good. It's in their refrigerated section (not frozen), and it comes packaged with a big fresh basil leaf, but mine was bruised so I pulled a couple leaves off my basil plant and tore those up on top of the pizza instead. Yum! So delicious! And it's pretty light for a pizza, I really enjoyed it. I was only able to finish 3 of the 4 slices that I cut it into, and I gave the last one to Scott, but boy was it good!

Oh!! My POM Wonderful came today! They sent me a whole CASE so I have plenty to try! So I'll report on that as soon as I try it, I have to go to the store to pick up my Oikos still, and I still have my PB2 to try. I have a lot of new things to try, and I'm excited!

What a Day for a Daydream

I got hungry again around 1:45 am this morning, so I had some more Cheetos, and I tasted the Roasted Gorgonzola crackers we got.

Today's Food:

• Bowl of cinnamon Puffins cereal with 2% milk
• Rosemary apricot chicken salad sandwich on whole grain bread with Roasted Gorgonzola crackers
• Slice of whole grain bread with Nutella spread and about 1/3 banana sliced on top, rest of the banana on the side
• Some more leftover fries from Frontier
• TJ's Black Bean & Jack Cheese burrito with organic white corn tortilla chips and chunky salsa, and a Sundance (12 oz.)

Today was a pretty lazy day... I did get up, do my hair, and put makeup on, though! I tried that rosemary apricot chicken salad for lunch, on a sandwich, and it was ok, but I think it would probably be better on a Wasa cracker or something crispier than just bread. I might grab some tomorrow when I go to Smith's to apply for a job.

After a full day of sitting on my butt doing pretty much nothing, I got the sudden urge to reorganize my bookshelf, because it was completely full and I had a bunch of books I needed to somehow find space for. So I went through all of my books, pulled out all the ones I was pretty sure I'd never read again, and then pulled all of the books off the bookshelf so I could rearrange them by alphabetical order. Then I had to adjust the sizes of all the shelves so the hardcover books would fit (I used to have them all on the bottom shelf). Now my bookshelf is all organized by authors, and I only kept the books that I loved enough to read again! Yay! All the books I didn't keep, I'm selling on Amazon, so maybe I'll make a couple bucks while I'm at it.

My friend Andi called me tonight to ask for a last minute favor, she and her fiance are going out of town tomorrow and needed someone to feed their dog, so I drove down to her fiance's house to get the key. I ended up staying there and talking for about 45 minutes, which was nice because I had never met her fiance before. So that got me out of the house for a bit, and now I have a responsibility for tomorrow and Friday, to make sure her little dog gets fed! He's really cute, too, he's a Shetland Sheepdog (a.k.a. Sheltie) and is so sweet and so well trained. It's going to be an easy job, I'm sure. Oops, there I go, jinxed myself.

I feel like I'm forgetting something. I'll come back if I remember.

Oh! Did I mention my PB2 samples came? As soon as I try them, I'll let y'all know! And I got my coupons for Oikos, so I'll grab some at the store tomorrow too, AND my POM Wonderful is on its way too!

You Learn

Today's Food:

• Bowl of cinnamon Puffins cereal with 2% milk
• Small fries at McDonald's
• Small popcorn with butter at Angels & Demons
• Some leftover fries from Frontier
• Pork pot stickers with soy sauce and steamed broccoli with lemon juice
• Some natural white cheddar Cheetos
• Fat Tire (12 oz.)

It was so nice to just relax today. We went to see my mom and my aunts at McDonald's so they could see my hair, and then we decided to go see Angels & Demons with some money I got for my birthday. Then we went grocery shopping, went and got the dog from my parents' house, and then went home!

At the grocery store (good ol' Trader Joe's) we got: another reusable grocery bag (we now have 6); Kung Pao noodle box; Pad Thai noodle box; onion bagels; Kashi Heart to Heart cereal; bambino cheese pizzas; 6-pack of Boulder Beer's Sundance Amber Ale (the kind I had in the Denver airport last night); organic white corn tortilla chips; whole milk; 2% milk; bananas; chunky salsa; whole grain bread; margherita pizza with fresh basil; a Tarte d'Alsace; BBQ chicken pizza; roasted Gorgonzola crackers; frozen mac 'n cheese; sliced Colby jack; rosemary apricot chicken salad; pork pot stickers (always have to have backup); a Roasted Vegetable wrap; carrot muffins; 2 black bean and jack cheese burritos; and a basil plant (yes, a whole plant! For only $2.99!). I thought it was going to be way over our budget, but it actually ended up being just under, so yay!

And, today ended up not being the best food day. Don't really know why... have to reflect I guess. I think I was feeling guilty about eating the popcorn at the movie, and started to slip into the all or nothing mentality a little. I think I was also feeling guilty for eating when I wasn't hungry. I did stop eating the Cheetos once I got tired of them, though. I definitely wasn't hungry when I started eating them, but the fact that I didn't just finish the bag tells me I haven't completely regressed.

Hometown Glory

Yesterday's Food:

• Bowl of Kashi Heart to Heart Oat Flakes & Wild Blueberry Clusters cereal with skim milk and a banana
• Leftover ribs, fries, and a roll with cinnamon butter from Texas Roadhouse
• Cheesesteak sandwich with a couple kettle chips and a pint of Sundance Amber Ale at Mile High Grill in the Denver airport
• Sample of fudge and a champagne truffle at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory in the Denver airport
• Rest of my popcorn from the first time I was at the Denver airport
• Most of a sweet roll, most of a cheeseburger, and some fries at Frontier

So. I was in the Denver airport for 4 unplanned hours yesterday. My plane from Grand Junction was supposed to take off at 3:58, but we got delayed because of a thunderstorm and congested airways in Denver, so we didn't leave until 4:58 and we didn't get to Denver until 6:14, so I missed my connection to Albuquerque which left at 5:54. The next flight to Albuquerque wasn't until 9:30, so Carol called United and got me a seat on that plane, but it turned out that flight was also delayed in Chicago, so it didn't even arrive at Denver until around 10:10. So we didn't take off until 10:25, and I didn't get home until 11:32, when I was supposed to be home at 7:15. It was awful.

Because of all this madness, yesterday was the worst food day I've had in a long time, as you can tell. But it's ok, because as the book says, Intuitive Eating is a process, not a goal, so it's ok to expect slip ups here and there. Today I will back to my regular eating style.

I had such a good time in Grand Junction with Carol and Steve, and I feel like we did so much in such a short time! It did go by way too quickly, but I am glad to be home and I was glad to sleep in my own bed last night.

Mamma Mia!

Yesterday's Food:

• Two pecan Heart Smart Bisquick waffles with maple syrup, two eggs over easy, bacon, strawberry and banana slices, and glass of skim milk with strawberry syrup
• Wine Tasting:
• Two Rivers Winery - Goldfish crackers to cleanse the palate, 2007 Chardonnay, 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon, 2007 Merlot, 2007 Syrah, 2006 Vintner's Blend, 2007 Reisling, 2007 Tulip, and 2005 Port
• Plum Creek Winery - Pinwheel, cracker to cleanse the palate, 2006 Chardonnay, 2008 Palisade Rosé, 2006 Sauvignon Blanc, 2008 Reisling
• Garfield Estates Vineyard & Winery - Cracker to cleanse the palate, 2006 S2 (Semillon/Viognier), 2006 Fumé Blanc, 2008 Viognier, 2007 Vin Rosé, 2006 Cabernet Franc, 2006 Syrah, 2008 Vin de Glace
• Carlson Vineyards - Cracker to cleanse the palate, Cougar Run Chardonnay, Cougar Run Merlot, Cougar Run Shiraz, T-Red (Lemberger), Laughing Cat Reisling, Laughing Cat Gewurztraminer, Prairie Dog Blush, Laughing Cat Sweet Baby Red, Hot Peach Wine, Plum, Cherry 'n Chocolate, Fat Cat Muscat
• Baked Apple Spice Kashi cereal bar
• House egg roll (beef, chicken, pork, bean sprouts, and glass noodles) and sip of tom yum soup (shrimp, mushrooms, spring onion, lemon grass and cilantro) at Thai Chili
• Scoop of Pad Thai (rice noodles, egg, green onion, ground peanut and bean sprouts) with chicken, scoop of Swimming Angel (steamed mixed vegetables and special peanut sauce) with beef, and scoop of Pad Kee Mow (wide rice noodles, green peppers, bok choy, and Thai basil) with beef over white rice at Thai Chili
• Like It (small) size coffee and Oreo ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery
• Some honey mustard & onion pretzel pieces

We went wine tasting yesterday, if you couldn't tell. It was really a lot of fun, and I learned some really good techniques for tasting wines! I reaffirmed that I am a white wine girl, and I discovered that apparently I like rosé wine. I bought a bottle of it at Plum Creek, and I also bought a bottle of the cherry wine and the plum wine at Carlson's. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get it home, since I carried my luggage on the plane (so not paying $15 each way to check my bags). Carol and I are going to call some shipping places today to see if they are open, since it's Memorial Day, to try and get the wine shipped tomorrow. I want to break into those bottles, so I hope I can get them home soon!

I also had Thai food for the first time yesterday, and it actually wasn't bad! I don't know what I was picturing it to be like, but it was good. The dish I got ended up being too spicy, so I switched with Steve, because he ordered his spicy but it wasn't at all. It was good. I liked the Pad Thai the best, though, which is what Carol got. Then we decided to stop on in at Cold Stone and have some ice cream, because I mean it was right there and how could we just pass it up? :) Then we went back to the house, soaked in the hot tub for a while, and watched Mamma Mia!. It was really corny, but entertaining. What can I say? I'm easily entertained.

I'm going home today, so I get to get back on the dreaded Dash 8 plane... it really wasn't as bad as I was expecting the first time, though, so I'm not too worried about it this time. I think all will be ok.

That's about all I have, I'm passing out again. Good night/morning.

It's Raining On Prom Night

Yesterday's Food:

• Bowl of Kashi Heart to Heart cereal with skim milk and strawberries
• Leftover half of Cotto panini with Garden Salsa Sun Chips and baby carrots
• Roll with cinnamon butter at Texas Roadhouse
• Baby Blossom onion (split with Carol and Steve) with Cajun Horseradish sauce, and some roasted peanuts (not with the onion) at Texas Roadhouse
• Fat Tire (16 oz.) at Texas Roadhouse
• 1/2 All-American Cheddar Burger with bacon, steak fries, and dill pickle spear at Texas Roadhouse
• 2 ribs at Texas Roadhouse
• 2 glasses of shiraz

Yesterday we went and drove through the Colorado National Monument, which was really beautiful. It was kind of scary because all along the road there are all these sheer drops, and I got kind of freaked out, but when I was actually looking at the monument, it was really awesome. The whole drive through is like 26 miles, so I immediately thought they should do a marathon there, which then led me to immediately think about Laura. She is totally hardcore enough to run a marathon through a national monument that is over a mile high in elevation at its highest point. It has been raining off and on since I've been here, and it started raining really hard when we got to the last part of the monument, so we didn't get out to look at it, but that part is in Grand Junction so we're going to go back tomorrow and look at it again.

After we drove through there we went to eat at Texas Roadhouse, which was really good. I had a cheeseburger with bacon (of course) which was good, but I was REALLY impressed with Steve's ribs... they seriously just fell off the bone, to the point where he had a hard time pulling ribs off to give to me and carol because the bone would just slip right out of the meat when he would pull on them. Delicious. I'm totally having ribs the next time I go there.

Of course I can't forget my haircut, since I promised you guys pictures. So here's what it looked like before:

And here's what it looks like now:


What do you think? I love it. I cut off quite a bit, and I donated what I cut off to Locks of Love.

Oh! And I keep forgetting to mention that the people at POM Wonderful emailed me and offered me a sample to try and review, so I said yes! So next week they're going to ship me some, and I'll finally get to try it! Two new products to review in the space of, like, a week! I'm so excited!

Ok, that's all. Now I'm going to go to sleep because I'm about to pass out on top of my laptop.

Across the Universe

I had some Cheetos Friday morning at like 1am.... I got hungry and couldn't sleep.

Yesterday's Food:

• 3/4 breakfast burrito with egg, potato, cheese, and sausage at the airport in Albuquerque
• Popcorn at the airport in Denver
• 1 1/2 small pieces of garlic bread with some sort of spread at Il Bistro Italiano
• 1/2 Cotto panini (oven roasted rosemary ham, mozzarella cheese, caramelized onions, pesto mayo,and tomatoes), mixed greens salad with balsamic vinaigrette, and half a skinny bread stick at Il Bistro
• Split slice of tiramisu with Carol, cup of coffee with cream at Il Bistro
• A little bit more airport popcorn
• Lemon chicken with broccoli and brown rice (WW recipe)
• Two glasses pinot noir
• A little bit of honey mustard & onion pretzel pieces and one thick pretzel stick

I am in Grand Junction, CO! The flights here were actually not nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be, a little turbulence lifting off in Albuquerque and landing in Denver, and then again lifting off from Denver and landing in Grand Junction, but other than that, not too bad. On the small plane that I was worried about, I ended up being in the front row, so the flight attendant's jump seat was right in front of me, so I watched her the whole flight and decided if something happened and she didn't react to it, it must be normal and we must be ok. Pretty good strategy, I think.

We went and had lunch as soon as I got here because I was pretty hungry, despite having had most of a breakfast burrito in Albuquerque and a little bit of popcorn in Denver. We went to this Italian restaurant in downtown Grand Junction called Il Bistro Italiano, and it was really good. We both had a panini with a mixed greens salad, and we both only ate half of our sandwiches, but then we decided to split a slice of tiramisu... so maybe I overate a little at lunch, but it's a special occasion so it was ok :) It also looks like I ate a lot the rest of the day, but I really didn't - I had a little bit of popcorn while Carol was cooking dinner to keep the edge off my hunger, and then after dinner we opened a bottle of pinot noir and I had two glasses of that, and then Carol and I snacked on a little bit of honey mustard pretzel pieces (love those things!) but the bag was almost empty so we really didn't eat that much of them. I'm actually a little hungry now, but it's late and I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep as soon as I post this.

We're cutting my hair today, yay! And let me just clarify for anyone who may have been confused - just because I want to make sure my tattoo is covered does not mean that I regret getting it. Some places won't hire you with visible tattoos, so I am going to make sure it is covered so I can get a job. That does not mean I regret it, it just means that I need to keep it covered for work. I will also have to take my tongue ring out or wear a clear barbell if I get hired at certain places, but that certainly doesn't mean I regret getting my tongue pierced - if I did I wouldn't have kept it in for 5 years. I really wish people who don't even know me would not make assumptions about the decisions I have made in my life because of one fleeting statement I might make in this blog. Sorry if I seem sensitive, "be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way."

That's all. Oh, I weighed in yesterday morning, and I was up 0.6 lbs (+0.6 fat, -0.1 muscle, +0.1 water). Whatever.

P.S. We watched Marley and Me. It made me cry and want to hug my little puppy, but she's all the way in Albuquerque. :(

Keep Breathing

I ended up having the rest of my pizza around 2am this morning. Stupid stomach just wouldn't shut up.

Today's Food:

• Bowl of cinnamon Puffins cereal with 2% milk
• 6" turkey & provolone sub sandwich on wheat with Greek dressing, dill pickle spear, and chips at Dion's
• Leftover roasted veggies on a whole wheat olive oil wrap with hummus
• Some natural white cheddar Cheetos

I'm leaving tomorrow morning at 7:55 am to see my birth mother, Carol, in Grand Junction, CO, where she lives. I'm really excited! She has always come here whenever we've seen each other in the 5 years since we met, so this is going to be the first time I get to see where she lives. I can't wait! And she's a hair stylist (is that the correct term?) so she's going to cut my hair, and I think I'm going to go pretty short. Jenna's new hair cut inspired me, but I might not go as short as her because I have a tattoo on the back of my neck that I want to keep covered for whenever I get a job. I'll make sure to take before and after pictures ;)

I went to lunch with my mom today, because she wanted to see me before I leave. We went to Dion's, and I had a sub sandwich. I love their subs, they are so good! I really don't know what it is about them, but they're my favorite place to get subs. The best part was that I was once again able to eat out without feeling guilty and like the day was shot. If I had eaten out this late in the week back when I was dieting, I would have just said screw the week, I'll start over on Saturday. And then Saturday would have come, and we would have gone out to eat, and I would have overeaten, and I would have decided to screw the next whole week, too. That's the way it had been going before I decided to start reading Intuitive Eating. I know it sounds like they're paying me to talk about how great their book is, but really, truly, I love it. Read it.

Oh, and I think I might weigh in tomorrow instead of Saturday since I'll be in Colorado and I don't really want to lug my scale in my suitcase with me. Stay tuned for whenever I get a chance to blog from Colorado.

Also, I'm really terrified of my flight from Denver to Grand Junction, because I have to take one of those Dash 8 turboprop planes... You know, like the one that crashed in New York in February? Yeah, exactly like that. So I'm a little bit terrified. Pray that my flight goes ok, would ya? Thanks.

Strange New World

Today's Food:

• Bowl of cinnamon Puffins cereal with 2% milk
• Leftover roasted veggies on whole wheat olive oil wrap with hummus, glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice
• Pack of Premium Gold crackers from our lunch yesterday at Dion's
• Limón Corn Nuts
• Slice of whole grain bread with natural peanut butter and organic grape jelly
• 1/3 TJ's Philly Cheesesteak pizza
• Another 1/3 of Philly Cheesesteak pizza

I am slowly starting to be able to recognize different levels of hunger within myself. I can tell when I'm just barely hungry, when I'm hungry enough to eat something, when I'm too hungry, etc. It's a very strange feeling to have, because I am so used to either a) only eating at specified times of the day regardless of my hunger level, which usually meant I was verging on ravenous by the time I actually ate, or b) eating all day long so that I never even got the chance to get hungry. I really like this middle ground.

What I haven't mastered yet is recognizing when I'm satisfied - I'm still finding myself eating until whatever is in front of me is gone, or I get tired of the flavor, and neither of those have anything to do with level of fullness. So that's my next obstacle to overcome. I am making headway, though. Tonight for dinner I put that cheesesteak pizza in the oven, and I cut it up into 6 pieces because I had a feeling I wouldn't even be able to eat half of that thing, with all the toppings it had. So, after I had my second slice, I found myself picking up my third one and taking a deep breath before I put it in my mouth. Before I took a bite, though, I realized that the deep breath thing is what I do when I'm full but want to eat more. So I put the slice down, carried my plate into the kitchen, wrapped the leftover four slices in foil and put them in the fridge for leftovers later (and as you can see I did get hungry again later). I have never, ever, EVER left pizza on my plate before. If I can learn not to overeat on pizza, anything is possible. There is hope yet.

P.S. My right lower leg (tibia?) is really hurting... started yesterday but is worse today. Doesn't feel like shin splints, feels like it's more to the inner back side than my shin. Any suggestions/advice?

What a Difference a Day Makes

Today's Food:

• Fage 0% with sliced strawberries and TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's cereal
• Slice of pepperoni pizza and half Greek salad (black olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, red onions and Feta cheese) with romaine lettuce and ranch dressing at Dion's
• Pack of Premium Gold crackers from Dion's
• Like It size (small) coffee ice cream with Oreos at Cold Stone Creamery
• Roasted veggies (multicolored peppers and an onion roasted in olive oil) on a whole wheat olive oil wrap with hummus
• Limón Corn Nuts

Back when I was always on a diet, if Scott and I were to decide on a whim to have lunch at Whole Foods or Dion's or anywhere really, I would figure that the day was shot because I didn't stick to my plan (trust me, takeout pizza during the week was never part of the plan) and I would totally pig out the rest of the day, eating whole bags of chips and drinking multiple sodas or even beers, basically stuffing myself to the point of nauseousness and not stopping until I got to that point. But when Scott and I were at Borders having coffee with my mom, my aunts, and my cousin yesterday, we got hungry and decided to walk next door to Whole Foods and have a slice of pizza. Then today, we were at Walmart buying toothpaste and we again got hungry, so we decided to go to Dion's since it's right there. Yes, I had pizza two days in a row, but neither day did I decide to overeat the rest of the day because the day was "shot." In fact, I didn't even overeat at lunch either day. Yesterday I had a slice of pepperoni and then Scott and I split a slice of the spinach garlic, and today I had a slice of pepperoni and a half Greek salad (half is the size, I didn't have a salad that was only half Greek). We did go to Cold Stone today and I had a small ice cream, but even after that, I didn't feel stuffed, so I think I really am learning something with this Intuitive Eating thing.

So as you guys know, I love Greek yogurt, and the brands I buy most often are Fage and Trader Joe's. Yesterday I got an email from Stonyfield Farm, the makers of Oikos Greek yogurt, offering me some coupons so I can try their yogurt and review it for the blog, and I said yes! I'm so excited to try something new, and I will definitely let you guys know what I think of it as soon as I get a chance to try it!

Burrito Heaven

Today's Food:

• Blueberry streusel muffin, glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice, half a banana
• Slice of pepperoni and half slice (split with Scott) of spinach garlic pizza at Whole Foods
• Bottle of Sweet Leaf peach lemonade from Whole Foods
• TJ's Black Bean and Jack Cheese burrito
• Limón Corn Nuts

Scott and I went down to campus today so I could drop off some forms at the Financial Aid office and then go see an advisor at the College of Education. I feel a lot better after talking to her, because now I know what order I should take my classes in and what all I need to do, stuff like that. I still need to make an appointment to have a full transcript evaluation, but so far I think everything looks good. I'm actually pretty excited to get started!

We were going to take Tina on a walk tonight, but my feet were KILLING me from walking all over campus in these flip flops I got from Avon, and then it started lightening and thundering and raining, so we couldn't take her out anyway. Poor Tina! We'll definitely take her out tomorrow.

Also, I had that black bean burrito from Trader Joe's for dinner tonight, and it was sooooo good! Any of you who have a Trader Joe's should totally try it! And I really wasn't all that hungry today, as you can see, I barely ate anything. The body is a mystery sometimes.

I think that's about all I have tonight, check y'all later!

New Obstacles

Today's Food:

• 5 TJ's beef taquitos with medium salsa
• 2 hunks of French bread with butter at Pappadeaux
• Cup of clam chowder with 4 saltine crackers at Pappadeaux
• Half of medium order of Cajun fried chicken tenderloins with fries, hot mustard and ketchup at Pappadeaux
• Some cheddar cheese pita chips
• Fat Tire (12 oz.)
• More cheddar cheese pita chips
• Some of the leftover fries from dinner (gave Scott the chicken)

My cousin who just graduated (cum laude, I might add!) ended up spending yesterday with his dad and his dad's family, so we took him to Pappadeaux (his favorite restaurant) for dinner tonight to celebrate. I love it too, but my favorite dish (cedar plank salmon) is really expensive, so I've never actually had it myself, I've just tasted it when someone else gets it. I am getting it for my birthday (in 2 weeks!) this year, though, and I'm so excited!

I have decided to change my major. After spending a semester in business school, I decided that I don't think I really fit in to the business world, and I don't think I'd be happy as an accountant for the rest of my life. So I've decided to change my major to Secondary Education with a concentration in math... basically I'll be able to teach 7-12 grade math. Because of this I've had to completely revamp my school schedule, and I've probably pushed my own graduation back a couple of semesters, but even if it takes longer to finish, it will still be worth it. I am going to retake the business classes I didn't do well in this semester in order to replace the grades and not screw up my GPA, but after that I will be done with business school. It's a little scary to not really know how long it's going to take me and what I need to do, but I think I'm making the right decision for my future.

Tina and I didn't go on a walk today because I didn't get back from Pappadeaux until around 8:00, and I had a bad headache (still do) so I just decided to relax for the night. We did go on a short walk last night with my mom and Shy, but it's hard to walk with Shy because she sniffs every little thing she passes and Tina is used to walking fast and not stopping. Oh well. We'll get back out there tomorrow night!

Food Log

Today's Food:

• Blueberry streusel muffin, glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice
• French onion soup at Mimi's Cafe
• Half of Turkey Pistachio Salad Croissant sandwich (turkey, pistachios and dried cranberries blended with mayonnaise and Dijon mustard on an all-butter croissant with lettuce, tomatoes and mayonnaise) with fries at Mimi's
• Banana
• Other half of Turkey Pistachio Salad Croissant sandwich with rest of fries
• 4 strawberry milkshake Oreos with glass of 2% milk

Happy Graduation Day, UNM Graduates!

This was my first week sort of haphazardly doing Intuitive Eating (I've been trying to implement the principles as I read), so on my first weigh in (yes I am blatantly disregarding the principle of not weighing yourself, because I like to keep records) I........
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STAYED THE SAME! (-0.4 fat, +0.2 muscle, +0.2 water)

Yeah, doesn't sound like it should be that exciting, but considering that I've gained 12 lbs over the last 8 weeks since the 20/20 challenge started, I'll take a stay the same week! First of all, it shows that my eating was not out of control, and second of all, as you can see above, according to my scale my body composition changed a little! I'm glad that fat went down a little, definitely glad that muscle went up, and I'm actually glad that water went up, too, because I've been dehydrated (according to my scale) the past couple of weeks, so I'm working on getting that water percentage to a normal level.

I'm happy!

Now I'm off to see my parents, my cousin Derek graduated from college today (!) so I don't know if we're doing anything with him or not. I'm going to see if I can get my mom to take the dogs on a walk with me around their neighborhood... Tina will probably like looking at something different for a change! Talk at y'all later.

Oh, I forgot to mention! Tina has lost 0.2 lbs also! Another pound to go and she'll be back to normal!

My Bum Hurts From Walking

I got hungry again last night after I posted, so I toasted a slice of TJ's cinnamon swirl bread and spread about 1/4 tbsp of butter on it. So good!

Today's Food:

• Egg over easy on whole grain toast, handful of strawberries, glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice
• Banana
• TJ's Roasted Vegetable wrap with babaganoush
• Slice (1/6th) of TJ's Tarte d'Alsace (ham, caramelized onions, and Gruyère cheese)
• Some cheddar cheese pita chips
• 4 TJ's beef taquitos with medium salsa

I guess I'll go ahead and post today's grocery haul today instead of waiting until tomorrow like I normally do. We actually did really well price wise this week. We got: beef taquitos; the Tarte d'Alsace that Scott had for lunch and shared a slice of with me; Philly Cheesesteak pizza (couldn't resist, I'm obsessed with Philly cheesesteaks); frozen mac n' cheese; Bambino cheese pizzas; potato & cheese pierogis; whole milk; 2% milk; hummus; a cup of Fage 0%; strawberries; blackberries; raspberries; blueberries; blueberry streusel muffins; cheddar cheese pita chips (had to try them); broccoli; a black bean & cheese burrito; the Roasted Vegetable wrap I had for lunch today; bananas; and whole wheat olive oil wraps.

Tina and I went a little slower on our walk tonight, 21 minutes, but I was talking to Carol, my birth mom, on the phone while we were walking, so I probably went a little slower just because talking was making me short of breath. Tina is really starting to like going on walks, though! Tonight when I took her leash out, she ran straight to the front door, and then when I didn't come right behind her she came and jumped on my leg and sniffed at her leash. It was so cute to see her that excited! I don't know why it's so exciting for her since we always walk the same area, but whatever, dogs are easy to please I guess! Now she's relaxing in her bed, as usual when we get back.

Jenna over at Eat Live Run keeps blogging about mixing her Fage yogurt with PB2 and making like a peanut butter mousse, and it just sounds so good so I went ahead and ordered a sample pack today, to see what all the fuss is about. Can't wait till it gets here so I can try it, too! I'll let y'all know what I think of it!

That's about all I have today, but I'll be back tomorrow for my weigh in! Gonna go practice guitar now.

P.S. Being able to see how many people follow your blog is just depressing because you can see when someone quits following it. I'd rather just not know.

Hungry Hippo

Last night after I posted (like 3 hours later) I got hungry again, so I had some more Limón Corn Nuts. I also had a single strawberry milkshake Oreo as a bedtime snack :)

Today's Food:

• Cup of Fage 0% with sliced strawberries and TJ's Strawberry Yogurt O's cereal
• Simply Roasted Cherry Tomatoes with Spinach and Angel Hair
• Naval orange
• 5 beef and cheese flour tortilla taquitos with a little medium salsa
• Limón Corn Nuts
• 5 strawberry milkshake Oreos with a glass of 2% milk

I was hungry almost all day today. My lunch barely satiated me, and around 30 minutes later I was hungry again so I had an orange. I was still hungry after that, but I drank some water and tried to see if it would go away, but it didn't so I had some taquitos with salsa around 6:00 pm. Don't know why I was such a hungry hippo today.

I'm still reading Intuitive Eating, and I'm just fascinated with it. So far I have been able to identify with everything in this book, and when they present the problems with my "diet mentality" way of thinking, it makes perfect sense as to why nothing has ever worked in the long run. One of the things I found myself nodding my head to while I was reading is that people always talk about willpower, and how it just takes a little bit of it to fight the battle. The book describes willpower as "an attempt to counter natural desires and replace them with proscriptive rules." But you should be listening to your body's signals, and not fighting them by trying to follow rules.

Another thing that has struck a chord with me is being "obedient" to your diet plan, or to someone else's idea of your diet plan. I always end up asking Scott to help me... I used to tell him, "Honey, if I suggest we get pizza, you should try and help me realize that I shouldn't have pizza." But this book says:

A well-meaning suggestion by a spouse or significant other, such as: "Honey, you should have the broiled chicken..." or "You shouldn't eat those fries..." can set off an inner food rebellion. In this type of food combat, your only weapon to fight back becomes a double order of fries.... In physics, resistance always occurs as a reaction to force.... Similarly, the simple act of being told what to do (even if it's something you want to do) can trigger a rebellious chain reaction.... it's not surprising to hear from our clients that breaking the rules of a diet makes them feel just like they did when they were defiant teens.

Doesn't that make perfect sense? Because every time Scott has ever tried to help me in the way that I have asked him to, this is how I react. "I can eat whatever I want!" And then I end up eating more than I would have otherwise. The same thing happens whenever I find myself telling myself I "should" have a salad, or I "shouldn't" have a cheeseburger.

Tina and I did our walk in 20 minutes again tonight, 1.15 miles as usual. I didn't feel like I was working as hard as yesterday but we still managed the same time, so maybe I'm already getting in better shape! And Tina seems less worn out, too, so that's good. We're both getting in better shape!

Did She Have a Cheeseburger 3 Days In a Row?

Today's Food:

• Egg over easy on whole grain toast, glass of TJ's Tropical Blend carrot juice, naval orange
• Some Limón Corn Nuts
• Basket of chips and salsa at Happy Hour at Garduño's
• Traditional margarita (Jose Cuervo Gold, Cointreau and fresh citrus, shaken) at Happy Hour
• Small chicken enchilada (I think) with red chile sauce at Happy Hour
• Pint of Fat Tire at Happy Hour
• Another basked of chips at Happy Hour
• Some more Limón Corn Nuts (waiting for oven to heat up and pizza to cook)
• TJ's Pizza Olympiad (fire roasted peppers, kalamata olives, feta & mozzarella cheese)
• Bacon cheeseburger with... just kidding.

So, as you can see, I met a friend for Happy Hour. They have free chips and salsa, and a complimentary appetizer buffet (but there was only one dish and it looked like enchiladas to me), so I partook in that a little as my lunch, taking a fairly small scoop of the side with red chile. I would have had a lot more chips had it been the type of situation where the waiter brings them to you, but since I had to get up and fill my basket myself, I was able to control myself. If they had been just constantly sitting on the table in front of me for the whole 3 hours we were sitting and talking, I would have ended up eating a lot more. So all in all, I think it was a successful restaurant situation.

Since I didn't get home until right around 8:00, Tina and I didn't leave for our walk until 8:10, but we managed to make it home in 20 minutes and beat the sun, shaving off 2 minutes from yesterday's time! I think I really wore Tina out, but I was feeling great. There's no more satisfying a feeling than moving your body along to a great beat! Tonight I listened to Britney Spear's Circus, which is a GREAT album to work out to! It has great beats, and just really keeps your energy up. Some of my favorite tracks that I listened to tonight are Womanizer, Circus, Kill the Lights, Shattered Glass, and If U Seek Amy. There really aren't that many tracks on the album that aren't good beats, but there are a few. Unfortunately I think the beats set my pace a little too fast for Tina, but we made it and she's just relaxing in her bed now.

I also noticed that once I cooled down from our walk both last night and tonight, I got really cold and had to turn the air conditioner off. Does anyone know if this is because of the exercise? I don't know why it would be, but you never know.

Well guys, I'm off to practice the guitar a bit. Check y'all later!

P.S. I totally think I'm going to have Simply Roasted Cherry Tomatoes with Spinach and Angel Hair for lunch tomorrow. Sounds so good and I've never actually tried it with spinach before, but I have some in the house this time. Yum.

You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

Today's Food:

• 2 Van's multigrain waffles with about 1/2 tbsp butter and a drizzle of maple syrup, glass of 2% milk
• Teeny tiny (seriously, it was 2 girl-sized bites) sample slice of Pizza Margherita and sample of Country Italian Salad with grape tomatoes at Trader Joe's
• Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger with mayo, ketchup and pickles only (no fries) at Whataburger
• Spinach salad with broiled chicken breast tenderloins, strawberries, slivered almonds, and raspberry dressing
• Stacy's Parmesan Garlic & Herb pita chips

I know, I know. A bacon cheeseburger 2 days in a row. But today, when we were at Trader Joe's (I needed milk), my blood sugar got really low and I was shaking and just really not feeling good, so that's why I had the sample there, but it didn't help. Then on the way home there was a Whataburger right there, so we stopped. But I mean, I just had a Jr. burger, and no fries or soda or anything, so I could have done way worse. I really shouldn't even be justifying my choice, though, because a big part of Intuitive Eating is "Challenging the Food Police," which basically means stop feeling guilty for your food choices.

We stopped by Trader Joe's today because I ran out of milk this morning, and all we were planning on getting was milk and strawberries for my dinner tonight... We actually ended up with: Berry Bonanza juice; Tropical Blend carrot juice; 2% milk; TJ's Gourmet White Bread (Scott just has to have white bread); TJ's Pomegranate and Blueberry green ice tea; strawberries; and whole milk. You just can't go to that store and not leave with more than you came for. It's impossible.

I took a walk with my little puppy Tina today! I walked 1.15 miles around our neighborhood, and the neighborhood north of ours, in 22 minutes. I was planning on going 1.57 miles by doing another loop around our neighborhood when we got done with the neighborhood north of us, but Tina and I were both pretty worn out so we just went home. I felt so good after, like I had really accomplished something even though it was only, like, a mile, and I had forgotten how good that felt! It may sound stupid, but walking makes me feel powerful. It's like, look at this amazing body that God gave me, and look at the amazing things it can do! I think it was even better than if I had done it on the treadmill because 1. I got to exercise Tina a little, and 2. there's just something about taking a real walk outside. I plan on walking Tina again tomorrow night, and as often as possible, really. We left the house around 7:20 pm to try to avoid the heat of the day, and it wasn't too bad really, so that's probably what I'll try to do the next time I take her out. And my asthma didn't even bother me too badly! My chest did get a little tight, but nothing serious.

And oh my goodness did you guys watch the Biggest Loser finale? Shocking! I cried the whole way through! Love it!

Oh, P.S. I did have some Oreos last night, but I only had 5, with just under 8 oz. of 2% milk. Scott, on the other hand, had an ENTIRE ROW of Oreos with a cup of whole milk. How the man doesn't weigh 500 pounds I'll never know.

Middle East Feast

This is what I ate today:

• Bowl of Cinnamon Puffins cereal w/ 2% milk
• Bacon cheeseburger w/ mayo, pickles, and ketchup only at Rex's (no fries)
• 4 Premium saltine crackers with a Kraft American Singles Select split into 4ths on top and a slice of cheap white bread (I know) with another single melted on top
• A Starbucks coffee Frappucino (the kind you get in the grocery store in glass bottles, not from an actual Starbucks)
• A handful or two of Stacy's Parmesan Garlic & Herb pita chips
• TJ's Middle East Feast entree (hummus, falafel, tabouli, tahini sauce, and pita bread, except I didn't eat the tahini because it was all watery)

I may have some strawberry milkshake Oreos with some milk later, if I get hungry again.

The Middle East Feast was ok, not sure I'd get it again but I'm glad I tried it because I've been eyeing it in that refrigerator section for months now.

I only ate when I was hungry, and I didn't really get "full" on anything I ate. I might not have made great choices today, but I think I did pretty good as far as the amount of food I put in my body, and that's a start. I didn't overeat or binge on anything, and even the pita chips, I ate until I was satisfied and then I put them back in the pantry. The bag was still pretty full so I know I didn't eat too much. Sometimes I've noticed if you want a particular food, it doesn't take a whole lot to make you feel satisfied that you got what you wanted, like with chips and snack foods, the kinds of foods that trigger mindless eating. A lot of the time what happens, though, is that the bag will still be in front of me, so I'll keep eating them, even though I've already satisfied my craving. So today, I paid attention to my craving, and once I felt like I'd given my body what it wanted, I put them away.

I'm reading Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch right now, got it at the library. I hope it helps me figure some things out.

Update 5/11/09 11:21 pm: Finished chapter 2 right after I posted this, and so far, loving this book. Anyone with a weight problem and a history of chronic dieting should read it. Based on the first 2 chapters, of course, but I'm hoping the rest of the book will be just as good.

Beatle Mania

Sorry I haven't been around this week... I just haven't really felt like I had anything to say that would matter.

We did go grocery shopping this week, and here's what we got: 2 boxes of frozen mac 'n cheese; a frozen quiche; frozen multi grain waffles; bambino cheese pizzas; butter; frozen Greek Olympiad pizzas; 2% milk; sliced roast turkey; whole milk; Middle East Feast entree (hummus, falafel, tabouli, tahini sauce, and pita bread); a roasted vegetable wrap (yesterday's lunch); chicken Caesar salad; sliced Colby jack cheese; Gyoza pork pot stickers; blueberries; whole grain bread; cinnamon Puffins cereal; spinach; green peppers; a pack of red, yellow, and orange peppers; naval oranges; large grade AA cage free eggs; sugar plum tomatoes; cinnamon swirl bread; and bananas. We did get quite a few frozen things this week, but it's ok.

I don't know what to say on the weight loss front... I guess I'll just put it right out there and say that I gained 2 lbs (+0.6 fat, +0.2 muscle, +1.2 water) this week. I feel pretty crappy about being higher than 175 again, and for having a BMI that classifies me as obese again. That's not a good feeling. But I also just don't feel like putting forth the effort to really lose weight right now. I always put so many restrictions and rules on myself when I'm in "lose" mode and I don't want to be doing that right now. So I think I'm going to try only eating when I'm hungry, and having it be something healthy, which is what I did when we got back from California and I lost 4 pounds in 4 weeks. Why does it have to be so hard?

My asthma has been doing MUCH better, it's finally cleared up for the most part, so I think I might be ready to hop back on that treadmill pretty soon. Maybe if I start exercising on a regular basis again, it'll make a difference with my eating, too. I really want to try to learn intuitive eating, and not forcing myself to eat certain things when I'm dieting (like yogurt... I really like yogurt but because I associate it with dieting, I only eat it when I'm dieting). I need to learn how to have a healthy outlook and relationship with food. Maybe I should read that Intuitive Eating book, just to see what I can learn about it.

The most exciting thing that happened this week was that I sold my bodybugg (which was a very early birthday present from Scott) and bought a guitar with the money I got (a replacement birthday present, that Scott can enjoy too)! Anyone who follows me on Twitter has already heard all about it, but if you haven't, I got a Fender Sonoran SCE (like I have a clue what that means) acoustic electric guitar, and it's candy apple red, perfect for me! I learned a song the first day I had it, and I'm still pretty shaky with changing between chords and finger picking and all that, but I think I'm doing a pretty good job, considering. I do have a tendency to get frustrated with myself for not being great yet, and I keep having to remind myself that I've only been playing for 4 days. I love it so far, though!

Last night I went with my parents, my aunt, and my dad's best friend to see Rain: Tribute to the Beatles here at Popejoy. It was really awesome! It was especially cool since I was born after the whole Beatle mania thing had ended (obviously), so it was almost like experiencing the whole thing vicariously, and it was just really cool. My dad was impressed because I knew the lyrics to most of the songs, and we just really had a lot of fun! You all should have seen the look on my dad's face, he was just enjoying himself so much, and I loved seeing that big cheesy grin on his face for almost 2 hours straight!

And that's been pretty much my week, I'm obsessed with my guitar, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my flabby bum, and yeah. I'll talk at you guys later!

P.S. I graduated from high school 5 years ago today, can you believe it? I can't.

Moo.

I went on a total binge last night. It was not good.

We didn't go grocery shopping yesterday because we decided we have enough food to last us the week... I just hope we do! I think we'll make it, I might just need to go to the store for some milk and maybe some strawberries so I can make that grilled chicken salad, but that should be it.

Also, for anyone out there who thinks I'm just using my asthma as an excuse not to exercise, what I have to say to you is you don't know me, you don't know my circumstances, and good for you that you have asthma and yet you jog every day, my disease isn't under that much control right now. I would love to be able to jog every day, but right now I can barely make it walking across campus without my inhaler. I am sick. It's not an excuse. It wasn't always like this, and it won't always be, and I will be able to exercise again soon, just not right now. Don't use it as a basis for your judgement, and don't assume just because your asthma isn't that bad on a daily basis that means everyone is like you. Everyone is different. We all have different circumstances.

And finally, I gained 0.6 (+0.8 fat, +0.1 muscle, -0.3 water) this week, but honestly I'm not that upset because I really expected to be back up to 175 this week. I am getting back on track now, though. Today. I need to start thinking of it as respecting my body. It does my body no good to load it up with fake processed crap, excess fat, and more calories than it can possibly know what to do with. I have a plan, and my plan works if I stick with it.